HAUNTED HOSPITAL? YES, NOBLE

Effects of the government shutdown aren't just being felt in Washington. This morning, officials from Noble Hospital announced a new "community outreach strategy"  that is aimed at bringing in public funds with minimal overhead.

What is sure to be a controversial endeavor, Noble Hospital is planning to utilize the Halloween season to drum up some local dollars.

"Let's face it," said president Ron Bryant, "people die every day. Once they're gone, they aren't costing hospitals money. So why do we push them out the door so fast?"

Bryant went on to explain that individuals or their families can elect to participate in the fundraising endeavor that looks to utilize cadavers as props for a haunted house experience "like no other".

"The Haunted Hospital will take place after visiting hours Thursday through Saturday for the last three weekends in October. Guests can expect to see real blood, bodies, ghosts, and maybe even people they recognize."

Posthumous awards will be given to the cadavers that produce the most fright during the tours.

Tours of Noble's 'Haunted Hospital' are open to children and families of all ages. Light refreshments will be available at an additional cost. Estimated length of the tour is 8 minutes. Tickets available online or at the non-emergency reception area for $13, or with a silver coin at Big Y Supermarket for only $7.

More of the same horrifying local stories, only from The Westfield Noise.